Clinical Depression

I just found out that I have clinical depression. I don't always feel depressed so I don't understand how it came to be. The doctor seems to think that it is the sum of all my troubles that wasn't resolved. I thought that I have resolved them by coming to term with it. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

The thing that bug me is that a friend who I talk to about 2-3 times a year noticed that difference in me and know that I'm in deep emotional trouble yet my family and relatives didn't. It's amazing to learn so much about myself and what I put up with. James said that I am strong that I just have a nervous breakdown after a year. I thought about what he said that I agreed with him. If I wasn't strong enough, I would have had a nervous breakdown years ago and not do Nu Skin business at all.

The worst part of knowing that I got clinical depression is the drug. I have changed it once just after taking it 2 days. I think that I need to change it again. It makes me sleepy and lazy. The first one even give me a pounding headache that last for 2 days. The latest one give me a hang over for the whole day.

I got to fight this. I got to be able to work and make money to support myself and my 2 children. I cannot rely on anyone else to do it for me anymore. I simply have to dig myself out of my hole and rise above all the mud of challenges that drowning me. Need to stay focus, determined and positive no matter what others say about me.

Fat Loss

Belakangan ini saya baru tahu kalo fat loss alias penurunan lemak tidak sama dengan penurunan berat badan. Penurunan berat badan tidak bakal bertahan kalo hanya berolahraga tanpa diet. Terkadang dengan dietpun masih sulit untuk mempertahankan berat ideal itu. Selama setahun ini saya sempat mencoba berbagai macam diet. Dengan diet Atkins, menderita selama 2 minggu pertama karena gak boleh makan macam2 termasuk buah-buahan, hanya mampu menurunkan 5 dari 10kg yang ingin digugurkan. Dengan food combining, perut kembung dan bingung cari resep yang sesuai untuk program itu. Jurus terakhir, saya mencoba suplemen yang terdiri dari 5 atau 6 jenis. Program diet yang dianjurkan suplemen ini mudah dijalankan, nggak stres dan nggak bikin menderita. Karena saya punya hobi fitness, maka saya gabungkan konsumsi suplemen penurun lemak dan diet yang dianjurkan dengan program fitness saya. Hasilnya benar-benar mengagumkan. Selama 3 bulan saya mengonsumsi suplemen-suplemen itu lemak saya luntur 8%. Setelah itu saya hanya mengonsumsi proteinnya setelah latihan. Selama 6 bulan berikutnya, lemak saya terus luruh hingga 22%. Total lemak saya hilang 12%. Berat badanpun ikut turun hingga 51kg. Canggihnya massa otot saya terus meningkat bukannya menurun seperti diet dan olahraga biasa. Luar biasa!!! Minggu depan saya masukkan foto-foto gendut saya dan foto langsing saya...
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